Please help I am at wits end!!!

[jaycee]

Hi,

I have a battle at meal times almost every night. I have 6 children, the 3 older ones will eat what they are given although sometimes moan about it. But its my 3 year old twins, they wont even try something new. My daughter will try things if she is in the mood but my son just refuses point blank and up till yesterday I have given in and given him what he wants.
I made pasta for them all yesterday and although they have had it before they would not touch it. It has a knock on effect with my youngest daughter who is just 2 as if the twins dont eat then she wont either (although she did eat her pasta yesterday). So as they never even tried it yesterday I wouldnt give them anything else so they went to bed hungry which upset me. Am I doing the right thing?
My son is so fussy he only ate yorkshire puddings on Christmas day and nothing else. He isnt the biggest of kids, they were prem born but he was alot smaller than his sister.
What can I try to get him to eat? I have tried everything I can think of, bribeing, ignoring, tempting, no pudding after, I even have to say to him "dont you eat my dinner while I am not looking" like a game which works sometimes.
What can I do???

[Tammy]

Hi Jaycee

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with your kids - I'm sure it must be an absolute nightmare for you. I hope you've had a look around the forum for some ideas, like here, about how to deal with fussy eaters and I'm sure you've tried lots of things already.

Now I'm no expert as fortunately my kids are not that fussy (and if they don't like it, there ain't anything else so tough!!). However, I would advocate a consistent approach, whatever you decide that will be. Make your mealtime 'rules' and stick with them so both you and your kids know what to expect. For example, if main meals are not finished in our house then there is no pudding, end of. All my kids know that so are not surprised when they get no pud if they haven't finished their main meal! Secondly, you need to remember that kids will never, ever starve themselves to death! If they are truly hungry they will eat whatever they are given. I'm not saying you should starve them clearly , but I don't think that letting them go to bed hungry once in a while is such a bad thing if it teaches them that they need to eat, particularly if it's something you know they like or have eaten without fuss before. Others may disagree with my approach but I believe a lot of the mealtime behaviour is about attention seeking, so take the 'fuss' away (you trying to coax them) and the kids soon get bored of going hungry ... does that make sense?

Having 6 kids makes it much harder obviously as you are never going to please them all, all of the time. In my house my daughter will not eat mushrooms but I still use them in meals and she just leaves them! I do try not to give them anything I know they can't stand, but if for example I cooked pasta with a salmon sauce, I know my little one doesn't eat salmon so he gets the pasta and the sauce and is allowed to leave the salmon but I would never cook something separate for him. Keep meals simple because there's nothing worse than going to lots of effort and then have people not eat it!

Sorry if this is no use whatsoever! Maybe others have some ideas about what has worked in their house.

Hope you find something that works for you.

Tammy x